nwasianweekly.com
May 13 , 2006

Life’s tough for modern moms

Today’s moms don’t have it easy. Modern conveniences like diaper service, microwaves and automatic vacuum cleaners are supposed to offer women more free time, but the truth is, moms are busier than ever. In addition to raising children, holding down a full-time job, running the household and taking care of the spouse, women today also need to care for their aging parents. And in many cases, they are also taking care of the adult-aged children who move back home.

Baby boomers are sandwiched between a generation that is living longer than ever and a generation that considers the door to their childhood bedroom always open. And women baby boomers are being expected to care for both.

This Mother’s Day, we want to recognize and thank these moms who carry such heavy responsibilities. We also offer advice on how they can stay sane and lead balanced lives in the midst of chaos:

• Save money. Americans are in the habit of spending money they don’t have. They are up to their ears in debt because they live beyond their means. Spend only the money you have, not the money you plan to earn in the future. Build up savings so that when the unexpected arrives — like elderly parents or adult children moving in, or the collapse of Social Security — you can handle the extra pressures. Also, teach your children the importance of saving money. Those good habits will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

• Find an understanding spouse. Share your life with someone who will not run out on you when life becomes difficult. Taking in your aging parents or your adult children can turn your home upside down. Make sure both spouses agree to the changes and both are ready and able to help wherever needed.

• Find ways to de-stress. Even though you feel like you have a million things to do, take time to have fun. Do things for yourself — things that make you happy and relaxed. Take a walk in a park. Read. Exercise. Go to a spa. Spend an afternoon with your girlfriends. Carving out time for yourself makes you feel your life is your own — that you’re not at the mercy of everyone else.

Sometimes all it takes is creating a sanctuary in your own home. When you’re there, make sure everyone knows that they’re not allowed to disturb you. Teach them that in order to be a good mom, you need time to unwind.

• Set rules for everyone in the house. Even your parents should not be immune to rules. If they are living under your roof, they should follow your rules. Simple rules like cleaning up after themselves, taking turns doing the cooking and not being loud after 9 p.m. helps to maintain your sanity. If you find these rules are not being followed, call a family meeting to remind everyone of their obligations as members of that household.

• Inform co-workers and supervisors of your added responsibilities. More often than not, they will be sympathetic and try not to overload you with work or expect you to work overtime. Most will understand if you are called away from the office because of an emergency.

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